Rocky Raccoon was pleasantly fat,

Rocky Raccoon was pleasantly fat,
Upon the road he merrily sat;
I came fast round the curve,
But despite my best swerve,
The trash panda is presently flat.

Thermodynamics

There once were some samples of gas

They all looked the same at first pass,

But one held a secret,

Though I thought I had sealed it,

It still leaked methane like my ass.

Kolkimber

There once was a man from Kolkimber

Whose dick was very long and limber

It was as big as a tree

and for safety, you see When his dick would go limp he’d yell TIMBER!!

There once was lad in from Morse

There once was lad in from Morse

Who claimed to be hung like a horse,

He turned hoarse as he hung,

From ladders upper rung,

And his lover now stands in divorce

Batter up

A batter preparing to bunt

Chose instead to perform a cute stunt

Off the field to his right

He spied his ex-wife

And hit the ball right in her direction

Gone fishing

A turbulent typhoon quite thick

Tossed the Pequod about like a stick

When the man in the crow’s

Shouted out “Thar she blows!”

Suddenly it was all hands on Dick

Cork

There once was a woman from Cork,

who dreaded her gift from the stork.

Her good friend from Bangor

suggested a hanger

or maybe an old salad fork.

In days before hypertext linking

In days before hypertext linking

All we did was a whole lot of clicking

All the pages were text

Getting one to the next

Was impossible- what were we thinking?

There once was a man named Sweeney

There once was a man named Sweeney

Who spilled some gin on his weenie.

Being quite couth,

he added vermouth,

And slipped his wife a martini.