There was a young man from Seattle
Who had a fetish for cattle
When he mounted a steer
After drinking some beer
He said, “I can’t find her pussy at all”.
Hickory dickory dock
Hickory dickory dock
A girl was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I shot my goo
And dumped her on the spot
There was a man from Havana
There was a man from Havana,
Who thought he could play the piana.
His fingers slipped,
his zipper unzipped.
And out came a hairy banana!
There once was a girl from New Haven
There once was a girl from New Haven
Whose pubic hair was not shaven.
But missing because
She slept without drawers
Within range of a nest building raven.
“It’s my code,” says a mailman named Drew
“It’s my code,” says a mailman named Drew,
“To unzip, then deliver a screw.
If virgins, when nervous,
Resist postal service,
I explain that the male must get through.”
There was a young woman named Jeannie
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, “You’re a meanie!
You claim you’re a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.”
Breathed a tender young man from Australia
Breathed a tender young man from Australia
My darling, please let me unveilia,
And then, of, my own,
If you’ll kindly lie prone,
I’ll endeavor, my sweet, to impalia.
His dick lay in peaceful quiescence
His dick lay in peaceful quiescence,
He longed though for youthful tumescence.
An electric connection,
Sparked a brilliant erection,
That shines with an awesome florescence!
There once was a gay opera singer
There once was a gay opera singer,
Whose dick was a wondrous humdinger.
When he’d sing a song,
His dong sang along,
And his balls would clang like a bell ringer.
With a blowtorch he set out to melt
With a blowtorch he set out to melt,
His loved one’s iron chastity belt.
What dampened his yearning,
Was pubic hair burning,
And he lost the desire he felt.