In Hollywood, a man named Gore
Whom the environmentalists all adore
Said use crops for fuel
To make taxpayers fools
Because he’s actually a farm subsidy whore
Two Gay Men in the Snow
There lay two gay men in the snow
And those two men commenced to blow
As it got colder
The men got bolder
To get the cinders in their campfire to glow
The Girl From Arabia
There was a girl from Arabia
A devout Muslim, Mohammed was her savior
To save her from sin
The surgeon cut in
And removed every bit of her labia.
The girl from New Orleans
There once was a girl from New Orleans
She was as sweet as a bag full of pralines
Just like the candy
She had nuts in her panties
And without panties, her nuts were a falling
There was a young maid from Madras
There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!
There was a young lady named Claire
There was a young lady named Claire
Who possessed a magnificent pair;
Or that’s what I thought
‘Til I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and begin to lose air.
There was a young man from Cape Horn
There was a young man from Cape Horn
who wished he had never been born
He wouldn’t have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn!
There once was a fellow named Perkin
There once was a fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin’ his gherkin
His mother said, “Perkin,
Stop jerkin’ your gherkin –
Your gherkin’s for ferkin’ not jerkin’.”
There’ a starlet who’s still in her teens
There’ a starlet who’s still in her teens
Who’s adept at removing her jeans.
And in X-rated flicks
So accomplished with pricks
That she steals all the pictures’ obscenes.
There was a young fellow named Dick
There was a young fellow named Dick
Who perfected a wonderful trick:
He’d get an erection
And scorn all protection,
Then balance himself on his prick.