There once was a man named Adair
That was fucking his bitch on the stairs
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair
There was a young man from St. Rose
There was a young man from St. Rose
whose love life was so full of woes
he loved sixty-nine
he’d do it all the time
but always got shit on his nose
There once was a man from York
There once was a man from York
who picked his nose with a fork
when it got stuck
he said “i don’t give a fuck”
and walked around looking like a dork
There once was a man named Dave
There once was a man named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
she had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There was an old girl from Kilkenny
There was an old girl from Kilkenny,
Whose usual charge was a penny.
But for half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement for many.
There was a young man of kildare
There was a young man of kildare,
Who was having a girl in a chair,
At the sixtieth stroke
The bloody thing broke
And his rifle went off in the air.
There were three young maidens of twickenham,
There were three young maidens of twickenham,
Who wanted Tom, Harry, and Dick in ’em,
They prayed hard to Venus
Saying, “Surely, between us”,
We can lengthen, and strengthen, and thicken’em
Said Old father William I’m humble
Said Old father William I’m humble,
And getting too old for a tumble,
But produce me a blonde,
And i’m still not beyond,
An attempt at an interesting fumble
There was a young gigolo named Bruno
There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, “Screwing one thing i do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Llamas are numero uno!”
There once was a man form Calcutta
There once was a man form Calcutta
who had a good fuck in a gutter
a copper walked by
got cum in his eye
and thought it was anchor best butter