The vicar of Santa Domingo
Said to the curate, “By jingo!
Blast women and boys,
I need some new joys!”
And he promptly fucked a flamingo.
My back aches, my pussy is sore
My back aches, my pussy is sore;
I simply can’t fuck any more;
I’m covered with sweat,
And you haven’t come yet,
And my God, it’s a quarter to four!
There once was a man from Peru
There once was a man from Peru
Who was desperately hanging out for a screw.
He picked up a mole
And rammed home his pole
Then said, “Jesus, that was Long overdue.”
There once was a hacker named Ken
There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn’t been heard from since then.
There once was a slut from peru
There once was a slut from peru
Who filled her vagina with glue
she said with a grin
“If you pay to get in
then you pay to get out again too!”
That wily old pervert St. Nick
That wily old pervert St. Nick
Made good use of the curve to his dick
He glazed the whole shaft
Painted stripes, then he laughed
As he offered young ladies a lick
There was a young sailor from Brighton
There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said “Shit! Your hole is a tight one!”
Said the girl, “Shut your face!
“You’re in the wrong place!
“There’s plenty of room in the right one!”
There was a young lady from Brewster
There was a young lady from Brewster
Who’s ass was so nice that I goosed her,
But her panties were thin
And my finger slipped in
And it still just don’t smell like it used ter.
There once was a harlot name Sumi
There once was a harlot name Sumi
Whose pussy was not very roomy
Because of this
She was a popular Miss
And never once drove clients loony!
There once was a man from Australia
There once was a man from Australia
Whose backside he painted like a dahlia
The colour it was fine
likewise the design
but the aroma, aah that was a failure