There once was a man from Greeling
who pounded his pud with great feeling
and like a red rainbow trout
he’d stick his tongue out
and wait for the drops from the ceiling
There once was a man named Pierre
There once was a man named Pierre
He was fucking this bitch on the stair
But the banister broke,
In his thirty-third stroke
So he finished her off in mid-air
There once was an abbot of Brittany
There once was an abbot of Brittany
Who chanted this desolate litany:
“If Christ is the Source
Of Divine Intercourse,
Then how come I don’t ever gitany?”
“My harem now has what it lacked,”
“My harem now has what it lacked,”
The sultan expansively cracked.
“There are bunk beds for all
Where the dears wait my call,
Since the women I ball must be stacked!”
There once was a man from Nantucket,
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dong was so long he could suck it.
He walked down the street,
Just a swinging his meat.
While he carried he’s balls in a bucket.
There was a young fellow from Florida
There was a young fellow from Florida,
Who liked a friend’s wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, “God strike me dead,
This isn’t a cunt, it’s a corridor!”
In the garden of Eden lay Adam
In the garden of Eden lay Adam
Softly stroking the loins of his madam
On his face was great mirth
’cause he knew on this earth
There were only two balls and he had ’em.
It was tried by the dancer, Di Basle,
It was tried by the dancer, Di Basle,
Whose cunt was just made for a nozzle.
She said, “I admit
It’s an elegant fit,
But of course it won’t do for the arse hole.”
There was a young man from Rangoon
There was a young man from Rangoon,
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you’d least expect ’em,
They’d burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.
There was a young lassie named Wainright
There was a young lassie named Wainright
Who enjoyed the position that a dog might
over her shoulder she found
when she looked around
A whole new meaning for hindsight