I was cleaning the house in the nude,
The neighbor gal said I was rude,
For not closing the drapes,
While I scoured and scraped,
It made her quite ill, so she sued.
There was a young sailor called Dave
There was a young sailor called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold fuck
But think of the money he saved!
There was a young lady from Ayr
There was a young lady from Ayr
Who remarked, “There is naught to compare
With the size and the force
And the thrust of a horse
As it fucks my sweet derri”
There once was a warrior from Parma
There once was a warrior from Parma
Who got into bed with a charmer
She, naturally nude,
Said, Don’t think me rude,
But I do wish you’d take off your armor.
In chapel the sight of young May
In chapel the sight of young May
Caused young Timothy trouser affray
And a sticky wet palm
At the end of the psalm
When the minister said “Come, Let us spray.”
There once was a man from Belgras
There once was a man from Belgras
Who had balls made out of glass
On hot sunny days
They focused the sun’s rays
And burned all the hair off his ass
When asked to do something salacious
When asked to do something salacious,
She answered, “Of course not! Good gracious!”
But the sight of his tool
So induced her to drool
That her view, in the end, proved fellatious.
This is the tale of woe of a small boy named Lou
This is the tale of woe of a small boy named Lou
Sitting in a crowded church with his family, who
Turned to his father, Bart,
And whispered, “Dad, I’ve got to fart !”
Said Bart, “If you do, you must sit in your own pew.”
A young woman from the Land Where the Sun Rises
A young woman from the Land Where the Sun Rises
Had boobs of unequal sizes.
The left one was small
And didn’t seem abnormal at all,
But the right one was so huge it won prizes.
There once was a queen from Bulgariar
There once was a queen from Bulgariar
whose bush grew hairier and hairier
a prince from Peru
came up for a screw
and had too hunt for her cunt with a terrier.