For money, and something to clamp on
Young Suzi inserted a tampon.
She diddled her cunt
‘Til she came with grunt
And then sold it still fresh with her damp on.
There was a young man from Wales
There was a young man from Wales
Whose yachting technique never fails.
He dines on baked beans
And plenty of greens,
And his farts put the wind in the sails.
That piano man’s surely the leanest
That piano man’s surely the leanest
and shortest and smallest and meanest.
I aquired him, said Feeny,
As a gift from a Genie
When he thought I said thirteen-inch pianist
There once was a man named Ray
There once was a man named Ray
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away
There once was a freshman named Lin
There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a bible belt home,
Said “This won’t be much of a sin.”
Two guys at a condom convention
Two guys at a condom convention
Attracted a lot of attention.
“s dong is the bigger?
“They argued with vigour;
But still it’s a bone of contention.”
A virgin by name of Miss Prim
A virgin by name of Miss Prim
Is exceedingly ugly and grim;
But she still gets her joys
In the absence of boys
From the toys she employs in her quim.
Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo
Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo,
“Be careful in all that you do,
Keep those lions at bay,
Or it will, I must say,
Be the first time a pussy ate you!”
There once was a man from Fort Myers
There once was a man from Fort Myers
Who wrapped his balls up in wires
He flicked the switch
And oh what a bitch
His Balls began to catch fire
There was a man named Moulder
There was a man named Moulder
who tripped over a boulder
instead he tripped on a rock
and grasped his own cock
and threw himself over his shoulder.