There once was a man named Jim,
Who downloaded porn on a whim,
He infected his ‘puta
While jerkin’ his shoota,
And turned his brain from bright to dim.
The once was a man from Nantucket…
There once was a man from Nantucket,
who had a dick so long he could suck it.
He’d say with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, ” If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it!!!”
Man from Leeds
There was an old man from Leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
blades of grass
grew out of his arse
and his bollocks were covered in weeds.
Decisions, Decisions
There once was a lady named Sue,
Who never knew quite what to do.
When presented, by chance
with a man without pants,
“A blow job, or do I just screw?”
There once was a man from Tulare,
There once was a man from Tulare,
Who got chewing gum stuck in his nut hair.
He said I’ll just shave my sack,
Cause it will all right grow back,
Or wax it like a porn star and go bare.
Chewing Gum
There once was a man from Tulare,
Who got chewing gum stuck in his nut hair.
He said I’ll just shave my sack,
Cause it will all right grow back,
Or wax it like a porn star and go bare.
Jane Train
There once was a woman named Jane,
Who often was pulling a train,
When it was shoved in her caboose,
Without any juice,
She screamed and she hollered in pain.
Roast Beef
There was an old hooker named Chariff,
Who let out a monstrous queef.
With the grace of a swan,
She said to her John,
“Does anyone else smell roast beef?”
Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
To a long pronged patron named Wong,
“They say my vagina,
The nicest in China;
Don’t ruin it by doing it wrong.”
There once was a lady named Lucky
There once was a lady named Lucky,
Who used dynamite to give herself fucky.
They found her vagina
in North Carolina,
And one of her tits in Kentucky.