Replacing TP with The Mail

Replacing TP with The Mail
Is pretty much certain to fail
The problem’s that it
Is just so full of shit
That it never could clean up one’s tail

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Like a Shotgun

Joe has a cock like a hose 
Both in length and strength when it blows 
Jill gave a lick 
To the tip of his prick 
And Joe blew off the end of her nose 

submitted by /u/LBJustice
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And one thing to say about Twitter

And one thing to say about Twitter
Which makes many feel rather bitter
Is though it is fun
When all’s said and done
It has its fair share of e-litter

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A traitorous soldier named Flynn

A traitorous soldier named Flynn
Understood the deep shit he was in
He knew he was through
So he told what he knew
And he managed to save his own skin

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“There’s never been anything like

“There’s never been anything like
This hurricane Dorian’s strike.
It’s unprecedented.”
“That fellow’s demented”,
Said Irma, Maria, and Mike




This limerick inspired by:twitter.com/CNNPolitics/st

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“I’m not coming,” said Trump to the Poles

“I’m not coming,” said Trump to the Poles
“While dealing with Dorian’s tolls.
So don’t take offence
For sending you Pence
While I play a quick 18 holes”



This limerick inspired by:twitter.com/CNNPolitics/st

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Dan Crenshaw was strongly defending

Dan Crenshaw was strongly defending
His practice of firearm lending,
Although AOC
Thinks Dan oughta be
Exploring new ways of befriending


This limerick inspired by:twitter.com/thehill/status

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Though NOAA could expose

Though NOAA could expose
The lies that lie under its nose,
It gathered its pride
And set it aside
While praising the Emperor’s clothes.

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Through a straw in a bulb-filled steak,

Through a straw in a bulb-filled steak,
Poor Laura her thirst couldn’t slake.
But the libs weren’t irked,
In fact, they just smirked,
As for self-owns she took the cake.

twitter.com/Mediaite/statu

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The incel enjoyed the musical classics

The incel enjoyed the musical classics

Yet, I think he was Bach’s wrong demographic

He loved girls much more

Yet he had never met four

So he enjoyed Depussy on graphics

submitted by /u/Vernonat
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