There once was a lad from Helsinki
Whose prick was the size of a Twinkie
Said a whore, “For a shilling
I’ll suck out the cream filling,
But we can’t fuck ’cause your thing’s too dinky.”

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Some Ohioans are a bit slow
In a passionate UN address
‘Member that cow who was runnin’ around?
Bigamy, they say, is a vice