My god! I look ancient today;
Overnight it would seem I’ve gone gray.
I’ve got aches, I’ve got pains,
I’ve got varicose veins
And my pecker has shriveled away.

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A widow who fancied a man some
I wonder what Christmas will be
Said a boy to a girl from Beirut
Through a straw in a bulb-filled steak,
A fan base, the turkey procured