there once was a girl from Peru
who had nothing much better to do
so she sat on the stairs
and counted cunt hairs
four thousand three hundred two!
There once was a man with a member
There once was a man with a member,
That would only stand up in December,
He said, “It’s too cold,
For a hard-on so bold,
I wish it would work in September!”
I know a young blonde lass called Flossy
I know a young blonde lass called Flossy
Who some say is remarkably Saucy
Once, on meetin’ John Wayne
Says she “Hey – I’m for layin'”
“How ’bout you – and the rest of your posse!”
Those crazy Peruvian women…
There once was a girl from Peru
who had nothing much better to do
so she sat on the stairs
and counted cunt hairs
four thousand three hundred two
A virgin with eyes that were blue
A virgin with eyes that were blue,
Was told that it’s sinful to screw.
So she rubbed on her clit,
But swore that she’d quit,
At least in the next year or two.
There was a young lady named Mandel
There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle.
There was a young woman named Croft
There was a young woman named Croft
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they never went soft.
Contravening the guidelines on health
Contravening the guidelines on health,
Butcher George likes exposing himself,
But he hides it away
In the sausage display
When young ladies come up to the shelf.
Said a woman with open delight
Said a woman with open delight,
“My pubic hair’s perfectly white.
I admit there’s a glare,
But the fellows don’t care.
They locate it more quickly at night.”
There once was an odious brute
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you’d guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.