An epileptic young woman named Camp
Was seduced on her couch by a tramp
But the first time he squeezed her
She had a Grand seizure
And broke both his balls and a lamp.
There once was a lady from Reno
There once was a lady from Reno
Who lost all her cash playing keno.
So she laid on her back
Opened her crack
And now she owns the casino!
There once was a Vulcan named Spock
There once was a Vulcan named Spock
Who tried stroking his monstrous cock
With lust went berserk
And beseeched Captain Kirk,
“Bend over, this shuttle must dock!”
There once was a man from Sydney
There once was a man from Sydney
Who could put it in up to her Kidney
But a man from Quebec
Put it up to her neck
Now he had a big one, didn’t he!
A kinky young girl from Coleshill
A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
There once was a hermit named Dave
There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She was missing a tit.
She smelled like shit.
But think of the money he saved!
There once was a man from Australia
There once was a man from Australia
Who had extra-large genitalia
He said to his bride,
Don’t try to hide
‘Cause wherever you go I can nail ya’
New York Dork
There once was a man from New York
Who asked, “Hun, would you please suck my dork?”
“I don’t like the taste”
He cried, “What a waste!
My wife says it tastes just like pork”
There was a young man from Peru
There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He whipped out his penis
And woke up with a handfull of goo!
Seattle Cattle
There was a young man from Seattle
Who had a fetish for cattle
When he mounted a steer
After drinking some beer
He said, “I can’t find her pussy at all”.