A certain sweet girl from Key West

A certain sweet girl from Key West
Was uncommonly large in the chest.
Any man’s close attention
To her outside dimension
Brought his own measurement to its best.

The last time I dined with the King

The last time I dined with the King
He did quite a curious thing.
He sat on a stool
And took out his tool
And said, “If I play will you sing?”

There once was a man from Van Isle

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I’ll get my workouts,” he said,
“At home, in my bed,
‘Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!”

A woman he tried not to covet

A woman he tried not to covet,
Was horny and knew she would love it,
So taking a chance,
She wrote on her pants,
“Pull down here and you’ll see where to shove it!”

Old mother hubbard

Old mother hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
but when she bent over
rover took over
and gave a bone of her own!

In the check out at the food store

In the check out at the food store
a nun was advising the poor:
“Hey you up in front!
That’s too many items you cunt!
And they won’t take food stamps for beer ya dumb whore.”

There was a young lady from Bath

There was a young lady from Bath
Who wasn’t very good at math
She had sex under a tree
later said “Woe is me”
1 plus 1 isn’t 2, it equals 3

Oh,the air did turn green

Oh,the air did turn green
When a fart came from the queen!
The court sat aghast
At the royal blast,
But stood and sang “God save the queen!”

There was a young lady from Exeter

There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.