They wanted to put Bill in jail
For using his house to chase tail
But the judge wasn’t fooled
Saw no crime so he ruled:
“Not guilty! He didn’t inhale.”
A right-wing spin doctor who’s spun
A right-wing spin doctor who’s spun
Lurid tales about Monica’s fun
Exclaimed when his eyes
Saw the fruit of his lies
“We’ve gotten O.J. off page one!”
A D.A who’d just passed the bar
A D.A who’d just passed the bar
Told Monica, “Come as you are.
There’s no need to dress
We don’t want to mess
With evidence you can show Starr.”
A lady while dining at Crewe
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”
There once was a man named Adair
There once was a man named Adair
That was fucking his bitch on the stairs
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair
There was a young man from St. Rose
There was a young man from St. Rose
whose love life was so full of woes
he loved sixty-nine
he’d do it all the time
but always got shit on his nose
There once was a man from York
There once was a man from York
who picked his nose with a fork
when it got stuck
he said “i don’t give a fuck”
and walked around looking like a dork
There once was a man named Dave
There once was a man named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
she had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There was an old girl from Kilkenny
There was an old girl from Kilkenny,
Whose usual charge was a penny.
But for half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement for many.
There was a young man of kildare
There was a young man of kildare,
Who was having a girl in a chair,
At the sixtieth stroke
The bloody thing broke
And his rifle went off in the air.