There were three young maidens of twickenham,

There were three young maidens of twickenham,
Who wanted Tom, Harry, and Dick in ’em,
They prayed hard to Venus
Saying, “Surely, between us”,
We can lengthen, and strengthen, and thicken’em

Said Old father William I’m humble

Said Old father William I’m humble,
And getting too old for a tumble,
But produce me a blonde,
And i’m still not beyond,
An attempt at an interesting fumble

There was a young gigolo named Bruno

There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, “Screwing one thing i do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Llamas are numero uno!”

There once was a man form Calcutta

There once was a man form Calcutta
who had a good fuck in a gutter
a copper walked by
got cum in his eye
and thought it was anchor best butter

There was an old pervert from Notts

There was an old pervert from Notts,
Who loved licking young ladies botts;
Whilst rimming one tart,
She passed a wet fart;
And covered his face in brown spots.

There was a fishmonger called Babs,

There was a fishmonger called Babs,
Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD;
And now she’s a purveyor of crabs.

There once was an artist named Saint,

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint

There once was a girl from Aboritzwith

There once was a girl from Aboritzwith
Who used to take flour to the mill to bake crisps with,
But the miller’s son Jack,
laid her flat on her back,
and united the organs they pissed with.