Tag: Pee

Gotta Go!

“NO WATER” the sign did read
Oh damn did I feel the need
I had to go soon
To the little girls room
My bladder longed to be freed

The Question my friends should be
“To Pee or not to Pee”
As the time nears
It depends on the beers
And how many people will see

I put my training to the test
Cuz I can squat and Pee with the best
So I let ‘er rip
Finished with a zip
Walking out of the weeds with zest

Thank god it was night and not noon
Cuz to see this crazy ol’ loon
Would have caused most to say
As they turned away
Look mom, I saw a full MOON

There once was a lady from Ealing

There once was a lady from Ealing
Who had an incredible feeling
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed up all over the ceiling

There was an old count of Swoboda

There was an old count of Swoboda
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So, with great savoir-faire,
She stood on a chair
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.

Grandpa’s dick is undoubtedly fickle

Grandpa’s dick is undoubtedly fickle,
Like a typical shriveled old pickle,
For whenever he
Feels that urge to pee,
The most that comes out is a trickle.

There once was a girl from Belize

There once was a girl from Belize
Who could put fruit in her cunt with ease
If you’re drinking some tea
When she has to pee
Just ask “Some lemon juice, please.”

There was a young lady at sea

There was a young lady at sea
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.”
“I see,” said the mate,
“That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”

There was a young lady named Rose

There was a young lady named Rose
Who’d occasionally straddle a hose,
And parade about squirting
And spouting and spurting,
Pretending she pissed like her beaux

There was a young lady at sea

There was a young lady at sea
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.”
“I see,” said the mate,
“That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”

A spiritual healer named Lee

A spiritual healer named Lee
Ducked into the alley to pee
He pissed in the eye
Of this blind homeless guy
Who screamed “Holy shit! I can see!”

They all had a friend, name of Lee

They all had a friend, name of Lee,
Whose pecker hung down to his knee,
If he hadn’t a’ tied it,
The girls they’d all ride it,
And he never could use it to pee.