Something was wrong with their dryer
A repairman, they decided to hire
So he took a look
And found in the nook
A snake with a mouthful of wire
Favorite This! Something was wrong with their dryer
(No Ratings Yet)
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(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Favorite This! The shoppers have begun to admit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The shoppers have begun to admit
Crimes they’ve seen birds commit
As they head to their cars
They swoop from the stars
And the ravens are taking their shit
Favorite This! They’ve lived in their house for year
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...They’ve lived in their house for year
And wanted others to share in their cheer
To their neighbors, they write
After deciding to invite
Them all over for refreshing free beer
Favorite This! This week at the San Diego zoo
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This week at the San Diego zoo
A man had a brain made of poo
This stupid fuck
Really tried his luck
As the elephants, he tried to pursue
Favorite This! This asshole is really a twit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This asshole is really a twit
Stealing money by pulling some skit
He’s done most of his time
But just couldn’t quit crime
So enjoy some more prison, ya shit
Favorite This! It’s so hard just being a teen,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...It’s so hard just being a teen,
Doing school and keeping your room clean,
But in a strive for perfection,
They rigged the election
All so she could be homecoming queen
Favorite This! The fire began burning and smoke
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The fire began burning and smoke
Poured out, finding people to choke
So this little girl
Gave the mattress a hurl
And jumped from the third floor, no joke
Favorite This! They promised to meet in a field
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...They promised to meet in a field
Equipped with a sword and a shield
Many Joshes contended
But soon the fight ended
So the fate of the best Josh was sealed
Favorite This! With a gun, he walked into the foyer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...With a gun, he walked into the foyer
“It’s a fake!” said his old employer
He tried to play cool
But is truly a fool
As he now wants to be his own lawyer
Favorite This! A cookie is flying through space
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A cookie is flying through space
But not one you’d put in your face
Not just some space junk
A planetary chunk
From truly an alien place
Favorite This! Remember that steer that got out?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Remember that steer that got out?
In Rhode Island, he’s roaming about
He’s managed to evade
His death, he’s delayed
Let him go, he just wants to hang out
Favorite This! The food on his tummy, so teeny
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The food on his tummy, so teeny
Looking for a steak or linguini
But his hunger won
Seeing the dog in the bun
And stole a bite off of somebody’s weeny
Favorite This! Hartford officials were taking some notes
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Hartford officials were taking some notes
“Too much shit and not enough oats”
So they took them away
From their unpleasant stay
Now what to do with some 65 goats
Favorite This! To make some money, he couldn’t resist
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...To make some money, he couldn’t resist
Guess he thought they wouldn’t be missed
Some chainsaws he sold
Just like they were gold
So goodbye to his freedom, he kissed
Favorite This! As a part of the scientists’ staff
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...As a part of the scientists’ staff
They discovered something worth a laugh
From one slug, you’ll get two
And all you have to do
Is take it and cut it in half
Favorite This! Tales like this are so often told
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Tales like this are so often told
Using taxpayers money, so bold
Makes you ask why,
The FBI
Spent time just looking for gold
Favorite This! Some people might steal your boat,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some people might steal your boat,
Or even you fancy new coat,
But this fucking dope
Had something else in her scope
And took and painted her neighbors goat
Favorite This! In South Africa, a farm made for crocs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In South Africa, a farm made for crocs
Just lost a bunch of their stocks
With hundreds on the loose
One could rightly deduce
That the reptiles had figured out locks
Favorite This! This Aussie had gotten quite bored
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This Aussie had gotten quite bored
Some supplies, he started to hoard
Quarantine had it’s perk
With lots of time to work
Now he’s the cowboy of cardboard
Favorite This! A couple was driving around
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A couple was driving around
When a pine tree was suddenly downed
The tree hit their ride
Luckily no one died
But their injuries surely abound
Favorite This! On his Twitter, Mark had to admit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...On his Twitter, Mark had to admit
Of graffiti on the rocks he had writ
Go so suck of Trump
You pathetic old grump
This Q-Anoner’s a real piece of shit
Favorite This! At a yard sale, an antique was sold
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...At a yard sale, an antique was sold
But its value had not been foretold
Some experts did say
It’s worth 500k
For that price, it had better be gold
Favorite This! A man standing handsome and lax,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man standing handsome and lax,
In a jacket and freshly pressed slacks
You walk over to him,
Place your hand on his limb
It’s Don Draper but he’s made of wax
Favorite This! In Yosemite some skiers had skied,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In Yosemite, some skiers had skied,
But this time, a more dangerous deed
For if they fucked it up
In a cast, they’d wind up
And through a straw they would have to feed
Favorite This! Some reptiles are causing headaches
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some reptiles are causing headaches
As they’re causing some minor outbreaks
Now the Florida commission’s
Against new admissions
So they’re restricting iguanas and snakes
Favorite This! No one knew if Brandy was alive
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...No one knew if Brandy was alive
15 years, no one’d thought she’d survive
I’m sure she’d come home
From her lengthy roam
Maybe waiting until she could drive
Favorite This! In the basement of a UM library,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In the basement of a UM library,
Lurked something so creepy and scary
So the crew, they flipped shit
Fearing they might get bit,
Twas spiders that made them so wary
Favorite This! In Israel, twas a bit of a spill
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In Israel, twas a bit of a spill
Killing things like turtles and krill
But the vets, they had found
That the mayo went down
Clearin’ oil much better than a pill
Favorite This! New recruits they were trying to groom
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...New recruits they were trying to groom,
By teaching them how to go “boom”
But they shit the bed
When they wound up dead
Maybe they should have done it on zoom
Favorite This! Twas a package that’d just been there sittin’s
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Twas a package that’d just been there sittin’s
So they put on their bomb proofing mittens
Expected some doom
But there was no boom
And found out the box was just kittens
Favorite This! Who says that chivalry’s dead?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Who says that chivalry’s dead?
This man was just looking ahead
Thought his life, he should spend
With his loving girlfriend
so stole a rare camel then fled
Favorite This! At first, this sounds like some joke
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...At first, this sounds like some joke
But some do dumb shit when they’re broke
Was this what Tony ate
When he said “they’re grrreeaat?”
Forty pounds of cornflakes and coke
Favorite This! In the seaside city, San Fran
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In the seaside city, San Fran
Lived a stubborn and wealthy old man
He paid quite a lot
For his home, to re-plot
And the move went according to plan
Favorite This! A lady was out on a mission
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A lady was out on a mission
To take care of a bod’ly emission
But the bear was quite crass
And bit her on the ass
In the most vulnerable position
Favorite This! A Turkish man with the name of Mirzan
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A Turkish man with the name of Mirzan
Saw a bird struggling out on the lawn
So he fixed her wing
And for years she did cling
This man’s best friend is a swan
Favorite This! Arvy had gone for a flight
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Arvy had gone for a flight
Took a swim and suffered frostbite
Brushed it off like an itch
Cuz he aint no bitch
But had some help to make him alright
Favorite This! A koala was the cause of a crash
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A koala was the cause of a crash
Five cars piled up in a flash
someone pulled him from the road
And his life he owed
As payment, he fucked up her dash
Favorite This! He thought it was more than a fling
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...He thought it was more than a fling
Said “a queen should be with her king”
But he’s quite the dumb fuck
As when the idea struck
He proposed with his other boo’s ring
Favorite This! Bill’s life had come to an end
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Bill’s life had come to an end
Left all his cash to his friend
So the bank added up
What he left for the pup
5 mil’s a lot for one dog to spend
Favorite This! Some go to court for this or for that
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Some go to court for this or for that
Like speeding or parking or stealing a hat
But if you act polite
They’ll think you’re alright
But you’re fucked if your lawyer on Zoom is a cat
Favorite This! Texas issued an Amber Alert
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Texas issued an Amber Alert
“Overalls and a long striped shirt”
But things smelled fucky
As the suspect was “Chucky”
Twas a false alarm, no one was hurt
Favorite This! Bet you’ve heard of this unclothed male
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Bet you’ve heard of this unclothed male
Looks like he’s a real Chippendale
Three cheers, cuz he’s back
After a weekend, so whack
The Naked Cowboy’s no longer in jail
Favorite This! The Wheeler’s came up with a tale
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The Wheeler’s came up with a tale
One they thought couldn’t possibly fail
“Julie fell and then died,
No need to check inside”
Now Rodney could join her in jail
Favorite This! In Chicago, a man lost his flute
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In Chicago, a man lost his flute
Blue line to O’Hare, was his route
Worth 22k
But he found it, hooray,
Once again, he can give it a toot
Favorite This! Most of his life, the steer had been pinned
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Most of his life, the steer had been pinned
And feared his life was coming to end
But he got away
And took down the highway
Now he’s roaming around Rhode Island
Favorite This! A chameleon can blend in with rocks,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A chameleon can blend in with rocks,
With trees, and plants with green stalks
But this little guy
Is quite the small fry
But is bigger than most Trumpers cocks
Favorite This! A man was counting some sheep
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man was counting some sheep
And quickly, he fell fast asleep
“I can’t swallow,” he told
To the doctor, who pulled
His headphone, from his throat, really deep
Favorite This! At the Brookfield Zoo out in IL
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...At the Brookfield Zoo out in IL
Malena needed more than advil
Her hip being replaced
Is only one problem she faced
As now she needs cash for her bill
Favorite This! Some people, they tried to rebel
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some people, they tried to rebel
Saying the Dems would usher in hell
But some of them got caught
And thrown in jail to rot
Now they’re crying “boohoo” in their cell
Favorite This! His day had begun with a wreck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...His day had begun with a wreck
Two deer, with his car, he did deck
But a stroke of sheer luck
Came for the poor fuck
As he won a million dollar check
Favorite This!