On Fuji, limits now imposed

On Fuji, limits now imposed,
To curb the trash, dead bodies enclosed.
No more reckless climbs,
In those heavenly chimes,
A summit without filth, now proposed.

The science of the sun, what a sight

The science of the sun, what a sight,
Advancing each day, shining bright.
With fusion, it’s in luck,
Evolution’s grand fuck,
In its radiance, worlds take flight!

Yoga class with pigs, quite a sight

Yoga class with pigs, quite a sight,
Amidst snorts, they stretch left and right.
With oinks as their song,
They all stretch along,
Finding zen in the piggy delight!

In Thailand, a town in dismay

In Thailand, a town in dismay,
Marauding monkeys causing fray.
Lock them up, send away,
That’s the plan for this day,
Hoping peace returns without delay!

Borg drink, a concoction so dire

Borg drink, a concoction so dire,
More lethal than Borg, I’ll inquire.
With each sip, a threat,
A perilous bet,
In its grip, no one dares to aspire!

Through the forest the ambulance sped

Through the forest the ambulance sped,
To aid where help was most needed.
But alas, in the night,
A moose crossed its flight,
A collision of fate, where sorrow is spread.

Ed Dwight, in space he did roam

Ed Dwight, in space he did roam,
At his age, an astral milestone.
With each orbit he’d chase,
In the vastness of space,
Proving dreams have no limit or zone!

In Oakland, a city of might

In Oakland, a city of might,
Stoplights vanished into the night.
For copper they yearned,
So, stop signs returned,
A twist in the theft’s eerie light!

Taylor’s hat, so chic and so grand

Taylor’s hat, so chic and so grand,
At auction, it finds a new hand.
For twenty-two grand,
It’s quite a demand,
In fashion’s domain, it takes a stand!

In the womb, where life’s yet to bloom,

In the womb, where life’s yet to bloom,
Zealots whisper, casting their gloom.
They seek to control,
Women’s bodies, their goal,
In politics before a child’s first room.

In the cosmos, two galaxies dance,

In the cosmos, two galaxies dance,
Their embrace, a celestial romance.
Amidst stars they twirl,
In a cosmic swirl,
A love story of galactic expanse!

“Call the cyber cops, hear the plea,

“Call the cyber cops, hear the plea,
The cybers are hacking, oh gee!
They’re into our water,
Causing quite the slaughter,
In this digital calamity spree!”

In innocence, children they prey

In innocence, children they prey,
With schemes to lead hearts astray.
Parents foot the bill,
For the indoctrination drill,
As companies profit and play.

In the world of sweet teardrop eyes

In the world of sweet teardrop eyes,
Sam Butcher, his art took to skies.
With Precious Moments in hand,
He crafted dreams, oh so grand,
Now his legacy forever flies.

In the clash of the day,

In the clash of the day,
Some wonder if burritos hold sway.
With beans and cheese,
Wrapped up as you please,
A sandwich by any name, I’d say!

In the Capitol’s tulip array,

In the Capitol’s tulip array,
Marijuana plants found their way.
Politicians must jest,
For in that flowery nest,
They’ve turned greenery to a different display.

A man in Alaska, so bold,

A man in Alaska, so bold,
Sought snapshots of moose in the cold.
But he paid with his life,
In the midst of his strife,
For venturing where danger took hold.

In Texas, a gathering of Kyles,

In Texas, a gathering of Kyles,
Their numbers, they stretched for miles.
But alas, what a shame,
Not enough for fame,
Just a bunch of Kyles and their smiles.

In Vermont, there’s a cat with allure,

In Vermont, there’s a cat with allure,
Max, now dubbed a ‘doctor’ for sure,
From the University, he’s adorned,
In litter-ature, he’s truly adorned,
Pawsitively wise, his knowledge pure!

In a truck filled with buzzing finesse,

In a truck filled with buzzing finesse,
Flew bees on a wild, wobbly quest.
With a crash, they broke free,
But most stayed with glee,
Contained, buzzing, in sweet success!

In Japan, a town had a plan,

In Japan, a town had a plan,
To shield Fuji from a tourist clan.
With a screen so tall,
They’ll hide it all,
Leaving Fuji to nature’s own span!

In Pennsylvania, a man’s alligator,

In Pennsylvania, a man’s alligator,
Was his emotional support navigator.
But it slipped out one day,
Now he’s in disarray,
For a gator’s not your usual equator!

There once were rock stars so bold

There once were rock stars so bold,
Who aged but refused to be old,
On stage with their walker,
Singing tunes, what a shocker,
Same songs for fifty years, we’re told!

There once were some fascists so sly,

There once were some fascists so sly,
On campuses, they’d amplify
Their power to stifle
The truth with a rifle,
While students dared not speak, but comply.

They silenced the voices that cried
For justice, their rights swept aside.
But truth cannot hide
For long, as with pride,
The silenced will rise, undenied.

In South Carolina, the tale goes

In South Carolina, the tale goes,
Cicadas, they buzz and impose.
Residents despair,
Calling cops, in a scare,
As the noise from those bugs loudly grows!

In Chicago, a curious sight,

In Chicago, a curious sight,
A sidewalk, a rat’s shape took flight.
But the city, aware,
Decided with care,
To fix it, and end the rat’s plight!

Instead of going to Miami

Instead of going to Miami
Stay at home in your jammi
Spring breaker and beer
Ain’t welcome here
If you come, you might end up in the slammy

Florida is a zoo

Florida is a zoo
Just look at this ‘roo
he had to bounce
had a cop to trounce
Back to jail, it’s true

Nevada says no thanks

Nevada says no thanks
As Nikki Haley tanks
In a contest with “no one”
She couldn’t have won
Poor lady is shooting blanks

Some might call it a fake

Some might call it a fake
But a breath the police did take
When they found
A bomb around
In a garage by a rake

If you feed the need

If you feed the need
For over the limit speed
Maybe don’t post
and try to boast
Or you’ll need to plead

If you’re at school

If you’re at school
Vapin’ cause you’re cool
and you’re the type
to hit the pipe
these charges will make you drool

Usually reserved for Taco Bell

Usually reserved for Taco Bell
This bathroom from hell
Covered in shit
Gave him a fit
Who thinks this lawsuit is legit?

Poor baby Ron

Poor baby Ron
Got another quote wrong
He tried his very best
but when put to the test
Sounded like he hit the bong

Everyone tries to be funny

Everyone tries to be funny
or cute as a bunny
These confusing signs
are breaking minds
and wasting a ton of money

Imagine you’re a Bear

Imagine you’re a Bear,
Asking to be treated fair.
Trying to be at peace,
Becoming obese.
And all they do is stare.

They made a hole in the wall

They made a hole in the wall
Thought it would be small
But it was too big
Now they’re in the brig
Likely trying to not bawl

To be a cop they’re not willing

To be a cop they’re not willing
When told to stop stealing
They say it’s about pay
But there’s no way
It’s about no more killing

New York was high as fuck

New York was high as fuck
with attendees trying to duck
There’s is no hope
To avoid the dope
Straight Edge? no luck!

Idalia is hitting the coast

Idalia is hitting the coast
Trying to do it’s most
It wants to kill
and give us a thrill
“We will survive” we can boast.

Florida man at night

Florida man at night

Didn’t seem so bright

Cops felt his dick

he said it was a trick

Should have turned on his light

A cat up a stick

A cat up a stick

Put on a great trick

sat for a day

till he felt ok

Then came down like a prick

Teachers scrambled for a dollar

Teachers scrambled for a dollar

Made the internet holler

we should give a fuck

what they did for a buck

And to not live in squalor

These residents had an odd guest

These residents had an odd guest

One some might even call a pest

Crawled out from the drain

The one meant for rain

Was a gator who looked a bit stressed

These painters were doing their work

These painters were doing their work

A homeowner, this did quite irk

Cut the rope knife

Which threatened their life

Who does this shit? What a jerk!

The Trumpies, they think themselves smart

The Trumpies, they think themselves smart

A new saying, they wanted to start

“Let’s go Brandon,” they yell

But the message they sell

“Fuck Joe Biden” is at the heart