Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
Keep it Dirty!
Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
A Munich man was flying back
Traveling with only his rucksack
Was it just dumb luck,
Or’s he a dim fuck?
‘Cause it looked like he planned to attack
In the small town of Krefeld
And ostrich chick is being held
They have no clue
If it fled the zoo
Or from someone’s house was expelled
Some people are born trans or gay
This school showed that is okay
They waved their pride flag
As they dressed in drag
Then made the field into a runway
This Liberian teen is the man
Doing something not everyone can
Out driving one day
He found 50k
Returning it was just part of his plan
Some people like baking cakes
Or fixing car tires and brakes
This dude from LV
Gets his own glee
By caring for 30 fucking snakes
An attraction in London was new
That claimed to have a great view
But by the time
They finished their climb
Most thought the attraction was poo
Lost his stash and he had to mourn
“I’ll get you for this” he had sworn
His parents dumped it
And he lost his shit
Thirty thousand for all of that porn
North Korea posed for a pic
Most soldiers really looked slick
One man to the side
He just couldn’t hide
His jumpsuit showed clearly, his dick
His idea was truly quite cool
So to his truck, he took a tool
But Tennessee state
Said he can’t operate
‘Til he registers his car as a pool
The birds traveled through New York state
With the journey starting off great
Into buildings, they flied
Was it suicide?
Or were they just meeting their fate?
A teacher had booked a field trip
But a school bus wasn’t their whip
This one wasn’t lame
Since a party bus came
With bright lights and a pole to strip
The crime they did try to decrease
By calling up the town police
When they got there
Found a man in a chair
Having his drink in fucking peace
Now this guy’s is really a twit
By robbing a bank he just hit
He charged through the door
Just one day before
All hail the new king dipshit
Rats are your typical pests
In dumpsters, where they build their nests
Trav’ling Rome in masse
And smelling like ass
As boars are their unwanted guests
A record, this fish had broke
And it made them an excited folk
But the fish Ben hooked
Had just been cooked
Which nearly gave him a stroke
I always found golf a bit lame
But these brothers do love the game
And I shit you not
After their last shot
Their final score was the same
This man found Macron a disgrace
And thought he’d put him in his place
As quite the dead-eye
He let the egg fly
And nearly hit him in face
Two pandas were born at the zoo
So small they could fit in a shoe
Xiao Xiao and Lei Lei
I think’s how you say
The names of these fans of bamboo
His Aunt, she had died in her sleep
And for her he surely did weep
Alone he did grieve
Since he couldn’t leave
Said goodbye with a heart made of sheep
Some houses have termites or mold
Or have trouble keeping out cold
But this home’s more weird
Yet is still revered
Boston’s skinny house has been sold
A museum in Denmark did pick
A great artist to do his trick
When they gave him cash
He fled in a flash
Not sure if he’s a genius or prick
This man went out for a drink
Had too many and needed a wink
He never came home
The woods friends did comb
Woke up, said “I’ll help them I think”
He’d had more than a drink or two
Pulled over, a .08 he blew
The cops locked him up
But a plan he thought up
And taped a spare key to his shoe
At a park, Merkel shared a few words
While feeding some tropical birds
Then one bit her hand
And the photo was grand
Plus I’m sure she was covered in turds
Events like this are quite rare
And must be handled with care
I doubt he’d admit
If his pants, he shit
When in his garage was a bear
These leaders were having a chat
And quite a good one at that
But Peanut thought
He’d risk a swat
Being cute is what he is good at
Pets, they can make perfect friends
They’ll love right up ‘til their ends
But some cats and dogs
Been replaced with hogs
And others that belong in pens
A cow had gone to Mickey D’s
In a sedan, it did have to squeeze
In the drive-thru
The patron did moo
Could someone explain this one, please?
The school’s near forests and trees
Which is great at blocking the breeze
Raccoons live there too
And nobody knew
They’d infect the whole school with fleas
This woman was acting quite rude
After pulling a stunt oh so lewd
Her ass, it was out
“Don’t touch me!” she spout
All for taking a dip in the nude
Australia’s got poisonous snails,
Snakes, and pissed off killer whales
But you better not mock
Someone bit by a croc
Because this guy, he’s tough as nails
Some people just don’t have a clue
How you should act at the zoo
Just like this asshat
Who pestered the cat
And ended up with a boo-boo
The diamonds, this woman did spot
So with her some pebbles she brought
The rocks, she tried to switch
In hopes of getting rich
Did she really think she’d not get caught?
Retirement’s not meant for some
It may make them feel like a bum
Like this lady from Maine
Said work keeps her sane
Catching lobsters until she goes numb
Every now and then you’ll catch a fish
That would make quite the nice dish
But this one caught by Ben
Just might be a ten
I mean look at the size of that bitch!
They put their supplies in their place
Getting ready to send it to space
NASA had a surprise
For their girls and their guys
With some pizza to stuff their face
In intelligence, there was a lack
Or maybe he was just on crack
His plan was bizarre
Cause he stole a car
Then got caught when selling it back
‘Twas more than football to look at
As there was a dangling cat
Who could have died
And we would have cried
Thankfully it didn’t go splat
This wasn’t a monkey or snake
That made its attempted jailbreak
Momentarily
The rhino was free
Not another Harambe heartbreak
Not carrying a gun or a knife
But still this will cause him some strife
Sick with COVID
He went and hid
And tried to fly dressed as his wife
A woman had the perfect view
From her home, she bought with her boo
She’s headed to court
Neighbors, to report
To remove the tall tree that they grew
These taxis are stuck in their spots
In some Thailand parking lots
Planting on the car roof
This isn’t a goof
But seems to work better than pots
A snake’s on the loose in Raleigh
After some moron’s folly
A bite from this guy
Could cause you to die
And seeing it might make you pee
On the chair some like to sit
As quite a few it can fit
Whoever came through
And broke it in two
Is a real piece of dog shit
Are you in search of a house?
Then you should send this to your spouse
For sale in Boston
This one is quite thin
But pretty roomy if you’re a mouse
Things have slowed down quite a bit
In Bali, the tourists quit
Handing out food
Which monkeys find rude
And in turn, are going ape shit
Their number exceeded their quotes
And they certainly are lacking oats
So they’re drawing names
To those who want claims
To all of these Hawaiian goats
The mouse trap is a great device
It’s fast and it’s quick and precise
But our blokes down under
Need lightning’ and thunder
To exterminate this many mice
This kid just swam ‘cross the lake
Plus an age record he did break
At only fourteen
His feats are pristine
And you just sit there eating cake