There was a young lady from Bath
Who wasn’t very good at math
She had sex under a tree
later said “Woe is me”
1 plus 1 isn’t 2, it equals 3
Oh,the air did turn green
Oh,the air did turn green
When a fart came from the queen!
The court sat aghast
At the royal blast,
But stood and sang “God save the queen!”
A psychiatrist and a proctologist from Stutts
A psychiatrist and a proctologist from Stutts
Did really show some pure guts.
They put up a sign
At 4th Street and Vine.
That read we treat nuts and butts!
There was a young lady from Exeter
There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
There was an old man from LaFarge
There was an old man from LaFarge
Whose balls grew exceedingly large
But his tee-tiny scrotum
Just couldn’t quite tote ’em
Now he sails them around on a barge.
She asked him “Please don’t ever quit,”
She asked him “Please don’t ever quit,”
As he sucked on her supple left tit,
And with talented mouth,
He headed down south,
And finished her lickety split.
There was a young man of the land
There was a young man of the land
Whose sex life had grown quite bland
He wanted a change
So the next time he came
He used his other hand.
There was a young man named McAmiter
There was a young man named McAmiter
Who had a tool of prodigious diameter.
What gave the girls surprise
Was not his size,
But his rhythm, iambic pentameter.
There was a young athlete named Grimmon
There was a young athlete named Grimmon
Who developed a new way of swimmin’.
By a marvelous trick
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
There was a young lady of Wheeling
There was a young lady of Wheeling,
Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.