A hard-headed cabby named Peter
Was asked by a fare if he’d eat her.
He said, “It’s not free.
I will only agree
To go down while I’m running the meter.”
Goldilocks has lots of guys
Goldilocks has lots of guys
Pinnochio’s one, I’m advised!
She sits on the puppet
And sticks his nose right up it
And makes the poor fellow tell lies!
Ode to Janie and Joe
There once was a chick from Apache Junction
Whose herpes was so bad she could hardly function
Her boyfriend was Joe
And he called her a ho’
When he learned of his own infection.
“You, choirboy!” ordered the pastor
“You, choirboy!” ordered the pastor
“Bend over the pew for your Master!”
He said with a moan
As he slipped him a bone.
“Now just wag your tail a bit faster!”
there was a young man from Bude
there was a young man from Bude
stood fingering his girl while they queued
a man in the front sniffed and said cunt
just like that right out loud, fucking rude
We all know that tampons are spongy
We all know that tampons are spongy
And often times get rather grungy
But why they have strings
Among other things
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.
There was a young lady of Clewer
There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike, and it threw her.
A man saw her there
With her legs in the air,
And seized the occasion to screw her.
There was a young fellow named Skinner
There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
And at a quarter to ten it was in her.
A thrifty old man named McEwing
A thrifty old man named McEwing
Inquired, “Why be bothered with screwing?
It’s safer and cleaner
To finger your wiener,
And besides you can see what you’re doing.”
A lascivious monk from Dundee
A lascivious monk from Dundee
Buggered a nun in a tree
While deep in her ass
He chanted High Mass
And even the Pope came to see