There was a young tart from Southend,
Who tried lesbian sex with her friend;
With a moan and a grunt,
She licked her mates cunt;
And loved the experience no end.
There once was a man named Dave
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
You must admit
She smelled like shit
But imagine the money he saved
There once was a young man who
There once was a young man who
laid an extraordinary long poo.
He let out a scream!
Can this be a dream?
That’ll never flush down the loo
There once was a man from Beijing
There once was a man from Beijing
Who invented a jack off machine
He put his prick in it
Done a thousand beats a minute
And turned his poor balls to cream
A fellow who lived in New Guinea
A fellow who lived in New Guinea
Was known as a silly young ninny.
He utterly lacked
Good judgment and tacked,
For he told a plump girl she was skinny.
There was a young girl from Mauritius
There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said “that last shag was delicious!”
“But next time you cum”
“Can u cum up me bum”
“Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!”
There was a young lady named Sharkey
There was a young lady named Sharkey
Who had an affair with a darkey.
The result of her sins
Was quadruplets, not twins,
One white, and one black, and two khaki.
There once was a queer from Rangoon
There once was a queer from Rangoon
who invited a lesbian up to his room
they did argue and fight
all thru the night
as to who would do what to whom
There was a young lady named Myrtle
There was a young lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle,
She had crabs, so they say,
In a year and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.
A young man whose sight was myopic
A young man whose sight was myopic
Thought sex an incredible topic.
So poor were his eyes,
That despite its great size,
His penis appeared microscopic.