There was an old fellow named Paul

There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.

Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs

Said a dainty young whore named Miss Meggs,
“The men like to spread my two legs,
Then slip in between,
If you know what I mean,
And leave me the white of their eggs.”

Horror movies were right in her line

Horror movies were right in her line.
The monster men made her eyes shine.
Her romance was rubble
Her troubles were double
She was married to both Frank and Stein.

Young Pedro from Malaga, Spain,

Young Pedro from Malaga, Spain,
Kept his wife on a short length of chain.
She could get to the kitchen
And bed but kept bitchin’
As if she had cause to complain.

There once was a girl from Belize

There once was a girl from Belize
Who could put fruit in her cunt with ease
If you’re drinking some tea
When she has to pee
Just ask “Some lemon juice, please.”

There was young man from Crete

There was young man from Crete
Who could shoot across the street
A chemist named Kelly
Would bottle the jelly
And sell it as “Extract of Meat”.

My god! I look ancient today

My god! I look ancient today;
Overnight it would seem I’ve gone gray.
I’ve got aches, I’ve got pains,
I’ve got varicose veins
And my pecker has shriveled away.

A worried young man from Stamboul

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
“Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!”

There once was a man from Fort Myers

There once was a man from Fort Myers
Who wrapped his balls up in wire
He flicked the switch
And oh what a bitch
His Balls began to catch fire