Category: Original Content - Page 3

To be a cop they’re not willing

To be a cop they’re not willing
When told to stop stealing
They say it’s about pay
But there’s no way
It’s about no more killing

New York was high as fuck

New York was high as fuck
with attendees trying to duck
There’s is no hope
To avoid the dope
Straight Edge? no luck!

Idalia is hitting the coast

Idalia is hitting the coast
Trying to do it’s most
It wants to kill
and give us a thrill
“We will survive” we can boast.

Florida man at night

Didn’t seem so bright

Cops felt his dick

he said it was a trick

Should have turned on his light

A cat up a stick

Put on a great trick

sat for a day

till he felt ok

Then came down like a prick

Teachers scrambled for a dollar

Made the internet holler

we should give a fuck

what they did for a buck

And to not live in squalor

These residents had an odd guest

One some might even call a pest

Crawled out from the drain

The one meant for rain

Was a gator who looked a bit stressed

These painters were doing their work

A homeowner, this did quite irk

Cut the rope knife

Which threatened their life

Who does this shit? What a jerk!

The Trumpies, they think themselves smart

A new saying, they wanted to start

“Let’s go Brandon,” they yell

But the message they sell

“Fuck Joe Biden” is at the heart

On her costume, she did her best

But was threatened with arrest

Construction was planned

And she took a stand

‘Cause technically it was protest

“It’s fucking gone?” Jimmy cussed

He didn’t know who to trust

Just when he thought

No one would be caught

Someone returned the lost bust

These Georgians are getting freaked

Some even yelled and some shrieked

The Joro Spider

Must be a boat rider

As over from Asia they sneaked

A man from PA’s on defense

After his tiny offense

He bought Mountain Dew

And then bid adieu

But was short by 43 cents

He took money he wasn’t due

So nights in jail, he spent a few

But he ran the joint

So he made a point

To leave a nice, five-star review

This call must have been a headache

Considering his health was at stake

Knew it’d be a battle

When he heard the rattle

Hours later he pulled the last snake

Dandeo had entered the race

And buckled in tight just in case

He zipped and he zoomed

The others were doomed

At 86, he won first place

Goto had just won the gold

And the mayor had wanted to hold

The winning medal

But had to backpedal

For biting it like a five-year-old

This man was headed to a cell

But cops saw that he wasn’t well

Saw something in the man

Through the body scan

They found a shotgun shell

Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks

Then Smith got caught up with some dicks

Did not shoot his best

And stepped on a nest

Where hornets gave him some pricks

The shore line has covered the docks

And the water is wetting the rocks

But some need to eat

And don’t care their feet

Are soaked on up to their socks

In the world, there are only a few

One living at New Orlean’s zoo

She went on a date

And found a nice mate

Now Menari is pregnant with two

Winther had some golf balls to hit

But first, he had to take a shit

Hit the bathroom before

Then went for the door

But locked himself in for a bit

Some collectors, they choose to own

Comic books, old pornos, or cologne

Some of these buyer’s

Collection requires

Guns and things used by Capone

Some workers think they deserve

A liveable wage, oh the nerve!

At Michigan State

Hungry patrons must wait

Unless teachers step up to serve

This woman must have been deprived

And thought of a plan quite contrived

She changed the locks

Then kicked off her socks

And chilled before the cops arrived

Spencer Tunick flew to the Dead Sea

With his camera for a shooting spree

This vision he had

Was not at all clad

You can see from where the subjects pee

Pioneers of aviation

An important duo of for our nation

Their strides were quite great

So they made a plate

But fucked up the orientation

A handful of Maine license plates

Have words you’d just say to your mates

Like shit, piss, or fuck

Some are out of luck

As reviews of these tags awaits

This poor pup fell into a crack

Where food and water did lack

Then five days passed

Now’s free at last

Safe at home now, she is back

Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed

As they’re shouting and shaking their fist

Hubbell kept scoring

Which got the crowd roaring

They sucked, how could he resist?

A Munich man was flying back

Traveling with only his rucksack

Was it just dumb luck,

Or’s he a dim fuck?

‘Cause it looked like he planned to attack

In the small town of Krefeld

And ostrich chick is being held

They have no clue

If it fled the zoo

Or from someone’s house was expelled

Some people are born trans or gay

This school showed that is okay

They waved their pride flag

As they dressed in drag

Then made the field into a runway

This Liberian teen is the man

Doing something not everyone can

Out driving one day

He found 50k

Returning it was just part of his plan

Some people like baking cakes

Or fixing car tires and brakes

This dude from LV

Gets his own glee

By caring for 30 fucking snakes

An attraction in London was new

That claimed to have a great view

But by the time

They finished their climb

Most thought the attraction was poo

Lost his stash and he had to mourn

“I’ll get you for this” he had sworn

His parents dumped it

And he lost his shit

Thirty thousand for all of that porn

North Korea posed for a pic

Most soldiers really looked slick

One man to the side

He just couldn’t hide

His jumpsuit showed clearly, his dick

His idea was truly quite cool

So to his truck, he took a tool

But Tennessee state

Said he can’t operate

‘Til he registers his car as a pool

The birds traveled through New York state

With the journey starting off great

Into buildings, they flied

Was it suicide?

Or were they just meeting their fate?

A teacher had booked a field trip

But a school bus wasn’t their whip

This one wasn’t lame

Since a party bus came

With bright lights and a pole to strip

The crime they did try to decrease

By calling up the town police

When they got there

Found a man in a chair

Having his drink in fucking peace

Now this guy’s is really a twit

By robbing a bank he just hit

He charged through the door

Just one day before

All hail the new king dipshit

Rats are your typical pests

In dumpsters, where they build their nests

Trav’ling Rome in masse

And smelling like ass

As boars are their unwanted guests

A record, this fish had broke

And it made them an excited folk

But the fish Ben hooked

Had just been cooked

Which nearly gave him a stroke

I always found golf a bit lame

But these brothers do love the game

And I shit you not

After their last shot

Their final score was the same

This man found Macron a disgrace

And thought he’d put him in his place

As quite the dead-eye

He let the egg fly

And nearly hit him in face

Two pandas were born at the zoo

So small they could fit in a shoe

Xiao Xiao and Lei Lei

I think’s how you say

The names of these fans of bamboo

His Aunt, she had died in her sleep

And for her he surely did weep

Alone he did grieve

Since he couldn’t leave

Said goodbye with a heart made of sheep

Some houses have termites or mold

Or have trouble keeping out cold

But this home’s more weird

Yet is still revered

Boston’s skinny house has been sold