A young engineer name of Paul
Was equipped with an octagonal ball.
The square of his weight
Times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call.
There was a hooker from Honchu
There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only four foot four.
A newlywed couple from Goshen
A newlywed couple from Goshen
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days
They screwed eighty ways –
Imagine such damn devotion!
There was a young plumber named Lee
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, “Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “That’s me.”
There was a young harlot from Kew
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They’ll pay to get out of it, too.”
There once was a man named Mort,
There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”
There was a young sailor from Brighton
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight ‘un.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right ‘un.”
There was a young lassie from Morton,
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short ‘en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
There was a young man from Pitlocherie
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, “Look you’ve cum,
all over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.”