There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She was missing a tit.
She smelled like shit.
But think of the money he saved!
There once was a man from Australia
There once was a man from Australia
Who had extra-large genitalia
He said to his bride,
Don’t try to hide
‘Cause wherever you go I can nail ya’
New York Dork
There once was a man from New York
Who asked, “Hun, would you please suck my dork?”
“I don’t like the taste”
He cried, “What a waste!
My wife says it tastes just like pork”
There was a young man from Peru
There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He whipped out his penis
And woke up with a handfull of goo!
Seattle Cattle
There was a young man from Seattle
Who had a fetish for cattle
When he mounted a steer
After drinking some beer
He said, “I can’t find her pussy at all”.
Hickory dickory dock
Hickory dickory dock
A girl was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I shot my goo
And dumped her on the spot
There was a man from Havana
There was a man from Havana,
Who thought he could play the piana.
His fingers slipped,
his zipper unzipped.
And out came a hairy banana!
There once was a girl from New Haven
There once was a girl from New Haven
Whose pubic hair was not shaven.
But missing because
She slept without drawers
Within range of a nest building raven.
“It’s my code,” says a mailman named Drew
“It’s my code,” says a mailman named Drew,
“To unzip, then deliver a screw.
If virgins, when nervous,
Resist postal service,
I explain that the male must get through.”
There was a young woman named Jeannie
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, “You’re a meanie!
You claim you’re a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.”