There once was a man from Tahiti
Who went for a swim with his sweetie,
But as he pursued her
A big barracuda
Made off with his masculinity!
There once was a girl of Siam
There once was a girl of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
“If you take me, of course,
You must do it by force
But, thank God, you’re stronger than I am.”
There was a young fellow named Goody
There was a young fellow named Goody.
Who claimed that he wouldn’t, but would he?
If he found himself nude,
With a gal in the mood,
The question’s not would he, but could he?
On the internet they found romance
On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With their hand stuck down into their pants.
In convertibles she was quite brash
In convertibles she was quite brash,
When she put her feet up on the dash.
A trucker drove by,
Her bare crotch caught his eye,
And four people were injured in the crash.
There was a young man from the Clyde
There was a young man from the Clyde
Who fell down a sewer and died
Next day his brother,
Fell down another
And now they’re interred side by side.
There once was a man from Berlin
There once was a man from Berlin
Whose pecker hung down to his shin.
When a lady named Gert
Started lifting her skirt,
His prick rose with a thump to his chin.
The nipples of Sarah Strong
The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong.
There once was a girl from Decatur
There once was a girl from Decatur
Who got laid by a big alligator.
Now, nobody knew
The result of that screw,
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
There once was a girl from Mitchen
There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”