There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”
An exotic young lady named Suki
An exotic young lady named Suki,
Once danced in a troupe of kabuki,
When asked for a fuck,
She said, “Solly, no luck
See here: looky looky, no nuki “
A mortician who practiced in Fife
A mortician who practiced in Fife
Made love to the corpse of his wife.
“How could I know, Judge?
She was cold, dinna budge,
Just the same as she acted in life.”
I know a tall Sunday school teacher
I know a tall Sunday school teacher,
Who wanted to screw the short preacher.
She flashed him some thigh,
But her pussy seemed high,
So he stood on a chair just to reach her.
A strange young fellow from Leeds
A strange young fellow from Leeds
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.
There once was a man from Cheyenne
There once was a man from Cheyenne
Of women, he was a fan
But they thought “Damn he’s fat!”
“I’m not touching that!”
So he had to rely on his hand.
There was a young lady of Worcester
There was a young lady of Worcester
Who dreamt that a rooster seduced her.
She woke with a scream,
But ’twas only a dream
A lump in the mattress had goosed her.
There was a young fellow named Fritz
There was a young fellow named Fritz
Who planted an acre of tits.
They came up in the fall,
Pink nipples and all,
And he chewed them all up into bits.
She had sat in a pretty green patch
She had sat in a pretty green patch,
But now found herself having to scratch.
Poison ivy she’s got,
And she’s itching a lot,
Right down there and real close to her snatch.
I have a strange story to tell
I have a strange story to tell,
Of a woman who casts a mean spell.
Though men would undress her,
Not one could possess her,
And the last man to screw her’s not well.