There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
There once was a girl from Aboritzwith
There once was a girl from Aboritzwith
Who used to take flour to the mill to bake crisps with,
But the miller’s son Jack,
laid her flat on her back,
and united the organs they pissed with.
There was a young tart from Southend
There was a young tart from Southend,
Who tried lesbian sex with her friend;
With a moan and a grunt,
She licked her mates cunt;
And loved the experience no end.
There once was a man named Dave
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
You must admit
She smelled like shit
But imagine the money he saved
There once was a young man who
There once was a young man who
laid an extraordinary long poo.
He let out a scream!
Can this be a dream?
That’ll never flush down the loo
There once was a man from Beijing
There once was a man from Beijing
Who invented a jack off machine
He put his prick in it
Done a thousand beats a minute
And turned his poor balls to cream
A fellow who lived in New Guinea
A fellow who lived in New Guinea
Was known as a silly young ninny.
He utterly lacked
Good judgment and tacked,
For he told a plump girl she was skinny.
There was a young girl from Mauritius
There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said “that last shag was delicious!”
“But next time you cum”
“Can u cum up me bum”
“Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!”
There was a young lady named Sharkey
There was a young lady named Sharkey
Who had an affair with a darkey.
The result of her sins
Was quadruplets, not twins,
One white, and one black, and two khaki.
There once was a queer from Rangoon
There once was a queer from Rangoon
who invited a lesbian up to his room
they did argue and fight
all thru the night
as to who would do what to whom