There once was a man named Dave

There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
Oh what the hell,
I’ll get used to the smell.
And think of the money I’ll save.

There once was a man named Piatt,

There once was a man named Piatt,
who’s sexual habits were a riot.
From horses to hens,
To mice and men,
If it had a hole, he would try it.

There once was a man named Sprockett

There once was a man named Sprockett
Who walked with his hand in his pocket
He was able to hide
What he was doing inside
Till he shot off like a Fourth of July rocket.

There was a young man from Leeds

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Within an hour
His cock was in flower,
And his balls were all covered with weeds.

There once was a man from Peru

There once was a man from Peru
Who slept in a really long canoe
While dreaming of venus,
he played with his penis
And woke up with a hand full of goo

There once was a freshman named Lin

There once was a freshman named Lin,
Whose tool was as thin as a pin,
A virgin named Joan
From a bible belt home,
Said “This won’t be much of a sin.”

Her pussy lips flapped as she farted

Her pussy lips flapped as she farted
A fart and a half. As they parted
Like wings of a dove
She rose ten feet above
And waved as she slowly departed.

There was an old virgin named May

There was an old virgin named May
Who lived to her hundredth birthday
There came a horrible smell,
From up in her well
Seems her cherry had rotted away

There once was a girl from Penlochrie

There once was a girl from Penlochrie
Who had sex with a man on a rockery
She said, “Oh, you’ve cum.
“All over my bum.
“This isn’t a fuck. It’s a mockery!”