There once was a man from Australia

There once was a man from Australia,
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice, and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.

There once was an altar boy from Crewe

There once was an altar boy from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
“The Bishop was quicker,
And thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.”

There once was a girl from Nantucket

There once was a girl from Nantucket.
Her boyfriend was about to up-chuck it.
she said with a grin,
wipe that cum from your chin.
I told you it’s my job to suck it!

There was a young fellow from Sparta

There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He’d fart “God Save the Queen”,
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

There once was a man from Winsocket

There once was a man from Winsocket,
Who rode down the street on a rocket.
The force of the blast
blew his balls up his ass,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.

The last time I dined with the King

The last time I dined with the King
He did a most curious thing.
He sat on a stool,
Took out his tool,
And said, “If I play will you sing?”

There was a young man from Saint Paul

There was a young man from Saint Paul
Who went to a masquerade ball.
Just for a stunt
He went dressed as a cunt,
And was fucked by a dog in the hall.

There was once a man from Kent

There was once a man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save him the trouble
He put it in the double
And instead of coming he went.