A horny young sailor named Clark
picked up a slut in a park.
She was ugly and crude
and a horror when nude,
but she was good for a spell in the dark.
There was a young lady from China
There was a young lady from China
Who mistook for her mouth, her vagina
Her clitoris huge
she covered with rouge
And lipsticked her labia minor
There once was a young barmaid from Wales
There once was a young barmaid from Wales
On her breasts were written the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The prices were tatooed in braille
There was a young lady at sea
There was a young lady at sea
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.”
“I see,” said the mate,
“That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”
There once was a man from Winsocket
There once was a man from Winsocket,
Who rode down the street on a rocket.
The force of the blast
blew his balls up his ass,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.
My penis, dear girl, is so small
My penis, dear girl, is so small;
It’s the size of an atom, that’s all.
But an atom’s main mission
Is fusion and fission
And BANG!! I shall leave you in thrall.
There was a young man from Montrose
There was a young man from Montrose
Who had a wet dream I suppose.
The landlady said,
As she changed his bed,
“This didn’t come out of his nose.”
There once was a man from Bombay
There once was a man from Bombay
Who raped an ape in the hay.
The result was most horrid,
All asshole and no forehead
Eight balls and a purple toupee!
There once was a man from Belgras
There once was a man from Belgras
Who had balls made out of glass
On hot sunny days
They focused the sun’s rays
And burned all the hair off his ass
Helen Keller’s pussy grew tight
Helen Keller’s pussy grew tight,
Masturbating alone late at night,
She rubbed that hot gland,
With just her left hand,
And silently moaned with her right.