There once was a woman unnamed,
Whose sphincter was sore and inflammed,
With one application,
of “H” preparation,
Her personal problem was tamed!
Category: Original Content
Disgusting, perverted, obscene
Disgusting, perverted, obscene;
Quite unsavoury, know what I mean?
These are lines about screwings,
Unnatural doings
Activities rude and unclean.
A hooker named sue
There once was a hooker named Sue,
Who filled her vagina with glue,
As she said with a grin,
If they’ll pay to get in,
Then they’ll pay to get out of it too!
There once was a dog named Linus
There once was a dog named Linus;
He was a yippy thing – no shyness.
His kennel he wet
And started to fret
And woke me up with a pain in my sinus.
Deluth
A cheerful young Dyke from Deluth,
luckily lost her front tooth.
The space would provide,
an erect clit to hide
bringing pleasure without being uncouth
There was a young man from Savannah
There was a young man from Savannah,
Who met his end in a curious manner.
He whittled a hole
In a telephone pole
And electrified his banana.
Wenatch
There once was a girl from Wenatch
Who diddled herself with a match
When she got excited
The match it ignited
And burned all the hair off her snatch
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves,
Likes to jack off the young men she loves,
She will use her bare fist,
If the fellows insist,
But she really prefers to wear gloves.
Said a swinging young lady named Lyth
Said a swinging young lady named Lyth,
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
“Try as hard as I can,
I can’t find a man,
That it’s fun to be virtuous with.”
There was a young man…
There was a young man from Oatley,
Who was wont to charge a fee.
With such a large organ
Admired by young Morgan –
He at once stripped off for free!
They all had a friend, name of Lee
They all had a friend, name of Lee,
Whose pecker hung down to his knee,
If he hadn’t a’ tied it,
The girls they’d all ride it,
And he never could use it to pee.
Gay male dirty limerick
There was a young man from Oatley,
Who was wont to charge a fee.
With such a large organ
Admired by young Morgan –
He at once stripped off for free!
His other young brother, named Saul
His other young brother, named Saul,
Was able to bounce either ball,
He could stretch them and snap them,
And juggle and clap them,
Which earned him the plaudits of all.
His brother, a bastard named Ben
His brother, a bastard named Ben,
Could rotate his pecker, and then
He would shoot through his rear,
Which made him the dear
Of the girls, and the envy of men.
There was a young fellow named Biddle
There was a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
For according to rumor,
His tool had a tumor,
And a fine row of warts down the middle.
there was a young woman
there was a young woman from wharton street
her pussy was fat and juicy and sweet
so she opened her leg wide
for me to get inside
only then did she feel complete
There was a young lady from China
There was a young lady from China,
Who had an enormous vagina,
And when she was dead,
They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.
4032!
there once was a girl from Peru
who had nothing much better to do
so she sat on the stairs
and counted cunt hairs
four thousand three hundred two!
There once was a man with a member
There once was a man with a member,
That would only stand up in December,
He said, “It’s too cold,
For a hard-on so bold,
I wish it would work in September!”
I know a young blonde lass called Flossy
I know a young blonde lass called Flossy
Who some say is remarkably Saucy
Once, on meetin’ John Wayne
Says she “Hey – I’m for layin'”
“How ’bout you – and the rest of your posse!”
Those crazy Peruvian women…
There once was a girl from Peru
who had nothing much better to do
so she sat on the stairs
and counted cunt hairs
four thousand three hundred two
A virgin with eyes that were blue
A virgin with eyes that were blue,
Was told that it’s sinful to screw.
So she rubbed on her clit,
But swore that she’d quit,
At least in the next year or two.
There was a young lady named Mandel
There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle.
There was a young woman named Croft
There was a young woman named Croft
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they never went soft.
Contravening the guidelines on health
Contravening the guidelines on health,
Butcher George likes exposing himself,
But he hides it away
In the sausage display
When young ladies come up to the shelf.
Said a woman with open delight
Said a woman with open delight,
“My pubic hair’s perfectly white.
I admit there’s a glare,
But the fellows don’t care.
They locate it more quickly at night.”
There once was an odious brute
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you’d guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
There was an old fellow named Paul
There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.
There once was a man from Pompei
There once was a man from Pompei
Who fashioned a snatch out of clay
The heat from his prick,
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!!
There was a young girl who begat
There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
There once was a pirate named Bates
There once was a pirate named Bates
Who attempted to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
There was a young man named Sweeny
There was a young man named Sweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.
There once was a man from St. Paul
There once was a man from St. Paul
who’s prick was incredible small.
He got down on the rug
and screwed a bug,
but the bug didn’t feel it at all!!
There once was a fellow from Yuma
There once was a fellow from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!
Said a diffident lady named Drood
Said a diffident lady named Drood
the first time she saw a man nude,
“I’m glad I’m the sex
that’s concave not convex
for I don’t fancy things that protrude.”
There was a young man who’s dong
There was a young man who’s dong
Was prodigiously, massively long
Down the sides of his whang,
two testes did hang
Which attracted a curious throng.
A young engineer name of Paul
A young engineer name of Paul
Was equipped with an octagonal ball.
The square of his weight
Times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call.
There was a hooker from Honchu
There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only four foot four.
A newlywed couple from Goshen
A newlywed couple from Goshen
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days
They screwed eighty ways –
Imagine such damn devotion!
There was a young plumber named Lee
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, “Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “That’s me.”
There was a young harlot from Kew
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They’ll pay to get out of it, too.”
There once was a man named Mort,
There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”
There was a young sailor from Brighton
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight ‘un.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right ‘un.”
There was a young lassie from Morton,
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short ‘en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
There was a young man from Pitlocherie
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, “Look you’ve cum,
all over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.”
A broken-down lecher named Tupps
A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie –
But I got a nice price for the pups.”
There was a young lady named Hilda
There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went driving one night with a builda.
He said that he should
That he could and he would,
And he did and it pretty near killda.
There was a young lady from Nizes
There was a young lady from Nizes
whose breasts were two different sizes.
One was so small
it was nothing at all,
but the other was huge and won prizes.