There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you’d guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
There was an old fellow named Paul
There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.
There once was a man from Pompei
There once was a man from Pompei
Who fashioned a snatch out of clay
The heat from his prick,
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!!
There was a young girl who begat
There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
There once was a pirate named Bates
There once was a pirate named Bates
Who attempted to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
There was a young man named Sweeny
There was a young man named Sweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.
There once was a man from St. Paul
There once was a man from St. Paul
who’s prick was incredible small.
He got down on the rug
and screwed a bug,
but the bug didn’t feel it at all!!
There once was a fellow from Yuma
There once was a fellow from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!
Said a diffident lady named Drood
Said a diffident lady named Drood
the first time she saw a man nude,
“I’m glad I’m the sex
that’s concave not convex
for I don’t fancy things that protrude.”
There was a young man who’s dong
There was a young man who’s dong
Was prodigiously, massively long
Down the sides of his whang,
two testes did hang
Which attracted a curious throng.