There once was a man from Pompei
Who fashioned a snatch out of clay
The heat from his prick,
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!!
Category: Original Content
There was a young girl who begat
There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
There once was a pirate named Bates
There once was a pirate named Bates
Who attempted to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
There was a young man named Sweeny
There was a young man named Sweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.
There once was a man from St. Paul
There once was a man from St. Paul
who’s prick was incredible small.
He got down on the rug
and screwed a bug,
but the bug didn’t feel it at all!!
There once was a fellow from Yuma
There once was a fellow from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!
Said a diffident lady named Drood
Said a diffident lady named Drood
the first time she saw a man nude,
“I’m glad I’m the sex
that’s concave not convex
for I don’t fancy things that protrude.”
There was a young man who’s dong
There was a young man who’s dong
Was prodigiously, massively long
Down the sides of his whang,
two testes did hang
Which attracted a curious throng.
A young engineer name of Paul
A young engineer name of Paul
Was equipped with an octagonal ball.
The square of his weight
Times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call.
There was a hooker from Honchu
There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only four foot four.
A newlywed couple from Goshen
A newlywed couple from Goshen
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days
They screwed eighty ways –
Imagine such damn devotion!
There was a young plumber named Lee
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, “Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “That’s me.”
There was a young harlot from Kew
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They’ll pay to get out of it, too.”
There once was a man named Mort,
There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”
There was a young sailor from Brighton
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight ‘un.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right ‘un.”
There was a young lassie from Morton,
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short ‘en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
There was a young man from Pitlocherie
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, “Look you’ve cum,
all over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.”
A broken-down lecher named Tupps
A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie –
But I got a nice price for the pups.”
There was a young lady named Hilda
There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went driving one night with a builda.
He said that he should
That he could and he would,
And he did and it pretty near killda.
There was a young lady from Nizes
There was a young lady from Nizes
whose breasts were two different sizes.
One was so small
it was nothing at all,
but the other was huge and won prizes.